Fat & Happy

The K.'s 2008
Originally uploaded by CK[2]

We had a fantastic night.
The Laughing Troupe was hysterical -- I got all the jokes: even the local stuff. I think that might become some sort of tradition.

Happy New Year - best of luck in 2008!

One More First

So, I dated a lot before I got married. Perhaps I use the term "dating" a little too loosely. I had lots of beaus. I did. They were nice - many of them more than nice.

However, Chris has put them and their romantic overtures to shame. He was the first boyfriend to take me away for a weekend... And now, we've got real New Year's Eve plans. We're getting dressed up and heading over to Chez Pierre for dinner. Then, we're going to a late play - a political satire. It could not be better.

Man, I think this marriage thing is growing on me.

Roughly 28 Hours

Till 2008 - a new year. I suppose I've been paying too much attention to the TV today - as every channel seems to be doing a year in review.

My family had a lovely Christmas - it was beautiful weather down south, even a little chilly. Since we got grades back - and yes, he passed everything - it's been so much calmer here in our little tree-top house. I feel like I can finally take a breath. I can totally (totally) get through the next two months until the Bar Exam. Remind me of this later.

I got an iPod Nano. After admonishing my mother-in-law that I didn't want a big (or little, for that matter) Christmas gift, I am now so overjoyed with my little iPod. I've wanted one for so long... and now I feel like I belong in my generation.

I can't believe that this year is finally drawing to a close. As much as I'm ready to put 2007 to bed, and with as much hope as I have for 2008 - I can't help to pause: 2007 was HUGE. Dude, I got married.

I used to take offense when I heard women say that this was the biggest day of their life. In the moments leading up to and immediately after my wedding day I was let down. That? That was the biggest day of my life? Wowsahs, I have so much to look forward to. It was really huge. It was really great - and what it represents, that I stood in front of God and my family and friends and pledged to be joined to another human for the rest of my life. DUDE.

Unemployment has continued to plague my family. While Chris was figuring out his path and finishing school he didn't work. Which meant that from day 1 of married life - we've been a one-income household. He paid me the best compliment the other day -- he told me I could stretch a penny better than anyone he knew, better than he thought I'd be able to learn. Getting through the past seven months has been daunting, but each day I wake up - and see my life, I smile. January 15th can't get here fast enough!

My grandmother passed away - the woman who I had hoped to learn so many more things... I was greedy. Of course, I find myself saying things or acting in ways that are so purely my grami I cannot help but giggle. I give unsolicited advice and coo at babies, make sure my car has more than enough gas, squirrel away dollars in a re-used plastic container, I pray. She is all around me - us - and I still thank her for giving me the opportunity to experience all this. Sickness, grieving, grace.

I'm so thankful that I like my job - that it's giving me the opportunity to be smart and creative. I'm still trying to jump hurdles and overcome challenges, but I really enjoy what I do. I'm so glad that I've been able to provide for my family.

I have received so many blessings - and so much hardship - and so much joy this year. I cannot help but to hope for 2008. It will be fantastic - with its own mix of blessings, hardship and joys - with its own lessons and new experiences and opportunities. My best to you and yours - Happy New Year!

Festive Us

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Is this for real?

Seriously?
I need a calendar of my favorite conservitave all-stars?
Supplied by the Clare Boothe Luce Foundation.
View it here.

So Poor, So Pitiful.

Last night, I got a comment on my blog (in response to my disgust with the humid weather in Tallahassee) that I was writing dribble - that I was sad, and pitiful.

WOW! That is like SO awesome! I swear, I now sort of identify with Dooce (she publishes her hater mail and it is hysterical!).

"I am sorry to have been alerted to review your blog. It is filled with such dribble and "poor me contments" I find it hard to believe that you still write such stuff. As if anyone cares how horrible your life was. You must work very hard at believing your own propaganda. Of course there is only you that believes your trite. poor you, so sad. so pitiful. "

a) the misspelling is totally his/hers
b) this totally beats the gay-hatemail I got, which was probably from one of my father's spurned lovers anyway.
c) Dude, you're sorry? ME TOO! Growing up with a borderline-personality mother is really the stuff good books are written about -- I need to start writing a book, not a blog! I would make a fortune. I could even have guest writers pen chapters - past friends and family explain their experiences with these crazy people! Oh my goodness, this is a great idea. THANKS!
d) I'm not the only one who believes Tallahassee is hot! Look at weather.com! That's why I put up the picture.

Anyway, that's my latest installment.
Whew, that felt incredible!

Thanks Simpsonville, South Carolina! What a great way to start the weekend!

Weather.

I've realized that I bitch about weather in Florida with surprising frequency.
However, seriously? This is ridiculous.

I can't stop.

I'm obsessed with being a foodie.
And I'm so not one -- but I read the food blogs which I equate to "food porn." I see beautiful recipes and gorgeous pictures and read about escapades making tomato confit or tiramisu cake... And I think: I can totally do that.

More often than not, I'm right. Sometimes. Even if it comes out a little different.
I'll admit it, I love to cook.


ps. Tonight I'm making truffles if anyone wants some.

Writers' Strike

Since the Strike, watching television with my husband is a complete annoyance.
He predicts the plot line (and twist) within the first five minutes.
I hate it.

I can't wait for the new 2008 season.

Effort x 2

I have trouble with Christmas. As a kid (heck, as a pre-teen), this season was my favorite time of year. Find me a kid who doesn't look forward to Silent Night and Santa Claus... It started with my Mom's birthday and continued with Halloween, followed by Thanksgiving which led to my Dad's birthday, Christmas, New Year's and my birthday. It was fantastic. Celebrations, happy times with family -- I loved it all.

Of course, Christmas turned into something different as I got older. There was never enough to please certain people and I'm not all that good with pressure. So, not to be a total downer, but this whole Chrissy-re-educates-herself-so-she-enjoys-Christmas-thing is tougher than I thought.

So, I am baking this Christmas, serious baking. We're talking truffles and biscotti and biscuits and flavored vodkas (the latest installment is ginger vodka to mix with fresh pear juice) and I'm sorta feeling the whole Christmas Spirit thing. And I'm enjoying it - I think. Presents are starting to appear below the tree and our house smells like evergreen thanks to a giant fresh wreath and I found my favorite pair of Christmas socks (a skiing santa).

Although all of this sort of makes me wish I was Jewish. I'd almost be done by now.

80 degrees

It is impossible to feel Christmas-y when it's 80 degrees plus outside. At noon.

I hit some biggies today -- Target, Michaels and Big Lots. It was actually fun dodging the carts, looking for the perfect ribbon and right wrapping paper. I watched Everyday Italian yesterday (while incredibly hungover) and came up with some Christmas gift ideas. Dude, I hope our families like carrots. Oh, and I now have a crush on Giada's kitchen.

I'll let you know how that goes.

Best Christmas Card

I've seen in a while....
The Southern Strategy Group has been sending this one out.
(Not that I agree with their politics, but points for panache folks!)

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

How I Entertain Myself

And get K. laughing on a Sunday afternoon:
I found a new blog -- Mimi Smartypants.

Go. Go NOW!
You will not be disappointed.

excerpt:
TWO MORE THINGS AND THEN I HAVE TO GO MAKE A PIE OH MY GOD

1. The Chicago Sun-Times, a very mockable paper indeed, seems to have a new slogan---"Let's Get Into It." I wait for the bus near a Sun-Times vending box, and every morning now I feel all challenged and testy. You talkin' to me, Sun-Times? You want to get into it? Oh yeah, let's get into it. I have some things to say.

2. One of our aquarium fish has given birth and now there is an itty-bitty orange fish zooming around the tank. I blame myself. I neglected to keep the fish busy with afterschool programs and organized sports. I thought we had plenty of time to have that facts-of-life talk and that they teach that stuff in health class anyway. And now we reap the bitter harvest, my fish are Parents Too Soon. PAPA DON'T PREACH, I'M IN TROUBLE DEEP GLUB GLUB. We are all coping with the situation as best we can---Nora has named the little fish Hubert and is naively excited about the development, LT pours himself an extra bourbon and tries not to let on how disappointed he is, I yell into the tank about GODDAMMIT YOU NEED TO AT LEAST FINISH HIGH SCHOOL. Oh, and I also am sprinkling in some extra food and hoping that the teen mom does not decide to simply solve the problem by eating her baby. So far so good. Go Hubert!

---mimi smartypants cranberried your sauce.

ps. Craphonso is from Tallahassee. No freakin' joke.

Christmas Begins!

Cell Service

My live is changing. My life has changed.
I know that these two facts will be ongoing challenges -- however, it seems that in the past year my life has changed more than I expected. I remember telling that to my first lover -- that while our teens seemed tumultuous (just think - in one decade we had gone from sixth graders to freshman in college), our twenties would be the biggest decade we've got in terms of major life changes.

And here we are. I'm more than half way through my twenties now -- I've graduated from college, moved from my first (second and third) job, my hometown, my home state. I've reorganized my family, I've gotten married. And, to top all this off - I still rather expect to have my first child in this decade. Man - that's a busy decade.

Where am I going with all this - besides to freak myself out? My friendships have changed. I don't live down the hall - bedrooms away - from the gals that knew all my secrets, knew how to throw a party and probably could tell you which guy I was trying to flirt with at that very moment. And then we all moved around and away -- we got married, involved and started new pursuits.

And everything changed. Some of us are permanently out of cell range - either by choice or because we're too busy with their own lives and our lives have changed. Like mine. I can't say it's wrong. I watch older grown ups -- and see how their friendships have survived the longest lengths of bad cell service. I hope mine can too.

The Good, The Bad & The Thing That Required A Bandaid

I've watched ER on Thanksgiving... There are freak Turkey accidents and someone always brings in a carrot instead of a thumb.

Nothing quite that dramatic happened. Like, not at all - my mandolin and I aren't getting along this morning. My first turkey Thanksgiving Dinner went quite well. The stuffing, while not exactly like Nana's, will suffice. And the sweet potatoes were quite yummy. The Turkey, thanks to several suggestions, was fantastic -- according to K. anyway... I'm not really a turkey fan. :) I even made my own gravy -- which was really interesting.


The crowning glory of the evening was the Bourbon Pumpkin Cheesecake - quite tasty and even prettier. I loved being lazy all day. It was fantastic...

I am so very thankful.

Thanksgiving.

When we made the decision not to travel for the holiday, it seemed like the perfect idea. After all, it had been eight weekends (and a few weeks) where I had not been in my house. We are both exhausted. And, after discussing our favorite Thanksgiving traditions - we settled on a small turkey breast, green bean casserole and stuffing -- and some sort of pie.

That feast has quickly grown. Little did I know that my husband "needs" a turkey leg. Who am I to forgo that tradition and desire. So... Now we are having a true Thanksgiving feast. The only difference is that our various casseroles and side (save for the stuffing) are made for five servings - not fifteen. I got the smallest whole turkey I could find - 9.5 lbs. (Still too much turkey). We're having Bourbon Pumpkin Cheesecake with a pecan crust because we couldn't decide between Pumpkin or Pecan Pie. Scalloped Sweet Potatoes, Green Bean Casserole, Sausage Sage Stuffing, Mushrooms, Gorgonzola Mac n' Cheese, Blood Orange Cranberry Stuff and Rosemary Turkey Gravy. Whew.

We even got firewood for a fire! And Beaujolais Nouveau! And the makings for Bloody Marys while we watch the parade! And oh my goodness - way too many exclamation marks!

I'm hoping to document the cooking and baking over the next two days. We'll see.

It's my first Thanksgiving - my first real one where I'm doing it myself. I've made a spreadsheet. Planned the oven and stove schedule. Yes, this is nuts. But, at least this is a good test run for the future.

Mileage: Just Another Reason

Just for the record - because this has been bothering me since August:

I live 409 miles away.
She lives 1.4 miles away.

There, I said it. I was there more than she was.
And I didn't take family leave.

Stuff in My Head

There is so much stuff that keeps reverberating in my head from the past few months. Tonight, a good friend told me that she thought I was handling this whole thing remarkably well. I don't really know about that.

There are so many things I want to write about. Get off my chest. So many things I wish I could sort of vomit out of my life. We all traveled to New Jersey last weekend for the final service. The service was unbelievable. Perhaps it was sitting in the church where my brother and I were christened, where my parents were married, where my aunts were married, where my great-grandparents went to church and my grandmother grew in her faith... Or maybe it was just being in New Jersey -- realizing that my husband's father grew up two small towns over from where my whole family lived. Or maybe it was knowing that my grandmother, the most important woman in my life, was really really really gone from this earth.

After packing up the car to drive over to our flight in Jacksonville, I reached for my phone to call Grami -- to tell her we were on our way. I couldn't help but laugh. And then, cry. As soon as the racking sobs seem to take over my life - they're gone. Wet eyelashes, that's what I've got.

And the parents - the oh so crazy, ridiculous folks that gave me life? Well, I suppose I am forever thankful for entrance into this family - my grandmother, my two aunts, my two uncles - great aunts and uncles and some cousins that are entirely too much fun.

I was incredibly nervous before Saturday. I was apprehensive leaving Florida, anxious while getting ready before the service. It was bad. Until I figured out why -- and after I named that fear, it was gone. Maybe that Saturday will be last time I see my natural parents, maybe not. Either way, I know that I will never have to interact with them again, and that is good.

We brown bagged at a fantastic Italian joint on Friday night. K. was sure it was "connected." I talked with Aunt Patty at length - for the first time feeling like a real, grown-up adult. I have bonded with both of my uncles in new ways. We're planning a Kids Table Reunion that should be quite the party. I met some of my grandmother's oldest friends - smiled and introduced my husband. I realized that I am the eldest of my generation and will most likely be the first to start the next one. I am amazed at all the treasures that are before us.

And, oh my God, I miss you Gram.

Seems right

that the first person I ever lost would be Grammers. Seems right that she would be the one that helped me figure out that dying is not - and should never be - scary.

We gathered - all her beloved family together and she left us. She left us, but only to return in a shower of perfect moments, memories and gentle lessons. I have never met a woman so good, so true of heart, so humble.

You are my sunshine, I love you.