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Tuesday, September 21, 2010

On Passing.

Published by cck at 10:20 PM

So yes, K. passed the bar exam. Both parts. First try. To say I'm a little proud would be a gross understatement of the elation I feel each and every time I take a breath.

K. said it was easy. Since I was watching the whole process, I can attest it was not exactly easy. It wasn't hard, necessarily, for to me support my husband while he studied. That was the easy part. The hard part was wondering if my husband would keep his word.

It was a little dicey. Unfortunately for K., he inherited a whole freighter's worth of dependability baggage. After having a life where there was no consistency (both environmental and quite frankly, of my own making), it seems it's all I crave. Dependability. Reliability. Assurance. Shit, I sound like an insurance commercial.

And you know what? My husband kept his word. He took the exam. He told me he would pass it - this time or the next, but that he would do it. He made a plan; he stuck to it. He studied hard. And that, my friends, was not easy. All summer, he worked and studied and tried to be a good husband, son and friend. He got most of it right, most of the time. And whooeeee, did it pay off. There is nothing he cannot do... And I can say that with a straight face.

There was this whole part of my brain that was sucked up into wondering about what was coming next - when that proverbial shoe would drop. And you know what? It will take a conscious effort on my part, but I think I can stop thinking about shoes dropping out of the sky on my life. Other than that very pleasant dream where Jimmy and Christian and Manolo decide that I have the perfect foot.

I feel so damn relaxed. I'm not exactly sure what being high feels like, but there's got to be some similarities. And then, today -- I found two heads-up pennies and my normal Chick-Fil-A girl (yes, I have a normal Chick-Fil-A girl - it's right across the street from my office) gave me a free Chick-Fil-A biscuit. She was happy about the bar results too.