Nerves.

This was the first weekend in I don't know how long that I was in Greenville - and nothing bad happened. I was having major panic attacks this past week - dreams of my crazy parents, dreams of my late grandmother, dreams of my hometown... And you know what, despite a canceled flight and a whole day delay, once I pulled onto 85 from GSP - I was home.

The whole weekend was fantastic. When I was a kid and my whole family would get together, I would practically shake with excitement. Hearing their voices - the voices of the women that weave together my family, smelling their cigarette smoke. I felt the same way, sitting on that bench at Table Rock. I sat and chatted with my aunt past dusk - hearing the song of the mountains. And you know, for the first time that I can remember there were no deep or dramatic conversations. I didn't need reassuring or assuaging.

We were happy. I love my family - the now family - the family we've cobbled and duck taped together. I met my cousin -- the most beautiful, beautiful baby I have ever seen up close. I know this is cheesy - and it is - my heart is so full.

*Me, nervous about going home? No ma'am.

State Workers

Dude. Florida's in budget hell right now - deals are flying across hallways faster than I can down a diet coke. One of the ideas to balance the budget (and plug that half billion dollar hole) is to punish state workers. Punish - yes, that's my terminology. Some might think a 5% pay cut is not punishment, but I'm guessing those people have had a raise in the past three years.

I do believe some of state government is redundant - and reflective of office procedures that better belong in history. However, the great majority of workers are doing jobs you don't want to do. We're talking everything from prison dentists to budget analysts to the folks who make sure your unemployment check makes it to your mailbox.

What are we thinking? A 5% cut is an income tax directed only at state workers. My other big fear is that a 5% cut will hurt the small businesses in this quaint town. Could the real chamber of commerce please stand up?

*If only the House would get behind some gaming and cigarette "user fees" we'd be all set.

Diet? Or the economy?

I've been shopping for some new clothes recently... I can only wear Seminole T-shirts so many days in a row.

I've discovered - happily - that I'm a size smaller. I'm talking a jeans size smaller. This is big news for me as I've been unsuccessfully battling my hormones for control of my body for more than a year. All of a sudden buying clothes seemed a lot more fun. I could place a cardigan in my shopping cart at Target without covering it up with something else (the XXL-size shame equivalent to buying condoms at Publix).

As I went on the Tallahassee Shopping Spree (Target, Old Navy & Macy's OH MY!), I had a thought... What if I haven't really gone down a size? What if it's all a scheme to make me buy more clothes in this tough economy? After all, once I'm empowered with the notion that I'm shrinking, I must outfit my new body. I'm on to you, mega-shopping centers. And I like it.

*Looking forward to the next economic downturn and a size 12.

Waiting for takeout.

I was waiting for dinner tonight (I think I've cooked four times in the last four months), and a woman sat down next to me. I barely looked up - I was playing on my phone and internally huffing over the wait.

She leaned over and asked to see my ring. I was completely taken aback. What? I mean, seriously? As I lifted my left hand she grabbed it. Apparently she had just gotten engaged (after 2 1/2 years she complained). I offered my congratulations. However, the weirdness didn't stop there.

She went on to suggest that marriage wasn't any fun and she wasn't actually looking forward to getting married... I mean, obviously a good attitude to have a few days into an engagement. Obviously.

Thankfully, my take out arrived at that exact moment and I was able to escape. As I was driving home, I realized it's less than a month and I will have been married for two years. TWO YEARS people. When did that happen?

*I'm still having fun.