Nerves.

This was the first weekend in I don't know how long that I was in Greenville - and nothing bad happened. I was having major panic attacks this past week - dreams of my crazy parents, dreams of my late grandmother, dreams of my hometown... And you know what, despite a canceled flight and a whole day delay, once I pulled onto 85 from GSP - I was home.

The whole weekend was fantastic. When I was a kid and my whole family would get together, I would practically shake with excitement. Hearing their voices - the voices of the women that weave together my family, smelling their cigarette smoke. I felt the same way, sitting on that bench at Table Rock. I sat and chatted with my aunt past dusk - hearing the song of the mountains. And you know, for the first time that I can remember there were no deep or dramatic conversations. I didn't need reassuring or assuaging.

We were happy. I love my family - the now family - the family we've cobbled and duck taped together. I met my cousin -- the most beautiful, beautiful baby I have ever seen up close. I know this is cheesy - and it is - my heart is so full.

*Me, nervous about going home? No ma'am.