Aiight. So that first year of wedded bliss thing -- for me at least, it's been total bull shit.
The last few months stunk. I thought I had made an awful decision and I hoped - with all my heart and soul - that I had not made yet another massive mistake.
I should have had a little more faith. The incredible opportunity that hit K. and I with the speed of a freight train two years ago was a once in a lifetime thing. But, since it wasn't quite the norm - we didn't meet in college, we didn't date for two plus years, we didn't get to know each other's families slowly -- there was no deliberate path that we followed other than racing to be with one another. Since it wasn't the norm, I wondered if what we had done was too extreme.
The three month dating whirlwind filled with travel, crazy parents and summer romance... The insta-engagement (no, I wasn't preggers). It was all so sudden. And, at the time, nothing had ever felt so right - so sure. Which is why the months of marriage we've logged (almost nine) seemed a personal affront. WTF happened to US?
Well, I'm not saying we're back (although I think we are almost there), but I will confidently assert that if this ever happens again - the derailment - because it will, I know we'll know how to get back. So far I'm counting the good days; it's been nine in a row - and I know that soon the days in a row when we haven't fought or broken wine glasses or stormed off or felt afraid will grow in number so that I don't count them anymore -- they just are.
So, to any newlyweds out there that are wondering what they're doing --> get thee to a good psychologist. No one knows how to do this right; and if you've had less than perfect (or hell, downright weird) examples, you might need a little tweaking.
I am so glad he didn't let me give up.
The last few months stunk. I thought I had made an awful decision and I hoped - with all my heart and soul - that I had not made yet another massive mistake.
I should have had a little more faith. The incredible opportunity that hit K. and I with the speed of a freight train two years ago was a once in a lifetime thing. But, since it wasn't quite the norm - we didn't meet in college, we didn't date for two plus years, we didn't get to know each other's families slowly -- there was no deliberate path that we followed other than racing to be with one another. Since it wasn't the norm, I wondered if what we had done was too extreme.
The three month dating whirlwind filled with travel, crazy parents and summer romance... The insta-engagement (no, I wasn't preggers). It was all so sudden. And, at the time, nothing had ever felt so right - so sure. Which is why the months of marriage we've logged (almost nine) seemed a personal affront. WTF happened to US?
Well, I'm not saying we're back (although I think we are almost there), but I will confidently assert that if this ever happens again - the derailment - because it will, I know we'll know how to get back. So far I'm counting the good days; it's been nine in a row - and I know that soon the days in a row when we haven't fought or broken wine glasses or stormed off or felt afraid will grow in number so that I don't count them anymore -- they just are.
So, to any newlyweds out there that are wondering what they're doing --> get thee to a good psychologist. No one knows how to do this right; and if you've had less than perfect (or hell, downright weird) examples, you might need a little tweaking.
I am so glad he didn't let me give up.
0 comments:
Post a Comment