Twitter Follow Me

follow me on twitter maybe we should try this whole tweeting thing. all the cool kids are doing it.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

From a MySpace Bulletin, no less...

Published by cck at 9:12 AM

One of the items on SC voting this year is about making marriage defined as 1 man and 1 woman (Amendment #1), so here's....

10 reasons why gay marriage is wrong:

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage would be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

And for all those folks (read: the man who called me a bigot), this is sarcasm. Irony. Humor.


Christopher said...

None of this is going to matter when the machines take over. Then a man can marry a machine and create cyborg babies. This, of course will happen only after the reanimated clone of Bill Clinton appoints the first robot to the Supreme Court in 3052. Incidentally, the robot will be programed with judicial temperment and jurisprudence of the already robot-like Ruth Bader Ginsbot.

CCS said...

Honey. Like, I am going to marry you and everything. But, you are weird. Weird.

I guess that's why we click. :)