Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree

Merry Christmas, all! I hope you were surprised, stuffed and fully satiated. Clearly rockin' my onesie (ridiculously cute, thank you Target!)

I'm enjoying some Grown-Up Chocolate Milk (courtesy of a DC trip with MSS) and watching Hotel Babylon on netflix. It's awesome. The best present of the day? A call from my Aunties this evening, cooing over my Christmas paper crafts. A close second? This guy.

My afternoon consisted of eating a ham sandwich and an IMAX 3D viewing of Avatar. Both were amazing.

I hope your weekend continues as pleasantly as mine will be...

a moment

Not-quite-white Christmas

For the last three years I have spent the holidays with my in-laws. Christmas not three minutes from the Gulf of Mexico is different. I know I write about it each year -- the warm weather takes some getting used to. The first year, I packed clothes for Christmas Eve Candlelight Service -- a wool skirt and tights. Normal, right?

Not when it's 72 degrees.

This year I will be in staying in Tallahassee for Christmas. And y'all -- while the snow is not 24 inches deep - it's cold here. Cold like I have to wear socks - which I never do. There's an extra blanket on my bed and the heat is definitely on.

And it feels like Christmas. Like Christmases from before 2006. All I need is a sleigh bell wreath and it is on.

Family Stone

Thanks to my Netflix membership, I've been enjoying Christmas movies up the yin yang. We're talking about back-to-back Holiday Inn and White Christmas features, which by the way, I don't recommend. I adore both, but they were shot using the same set, so it's a little strange.

Love Actually had it's moment, as did Meet Me in St. Louis. And now folks, we're on to The Family Stone. (man, is IMDB convenient!) I love The Family Stone. I remember how it was billed as this raucous comedy, when really it's a sweet family love story. Not romantic love, family love.

There's a scene where one of the daughters joins her napping mother. Each time I watch it, I swell with the memory of taking naps with my mom. I can remember the feel of the quilt on her bed, the softness of her pillow and the comfort and safety of those moments. Even though I know I'll never take another nap with my mother - and it's sort of sad - I love how a movie can take me back so viscerally.

That's why I love Christmas movies. You watch them every year, surrounded by familiar objects (my coral painted santa, three wise men and snow babies have been around forever). It smells the same - like evergreen and chocolate chip cookies baking.

And the best part about watching the same movies, over and over, year after year? While the movies don't change - Bing still croons and the Haynes Sisters still dance - you do. Each year, I'm older and supposedly wiser and I bring a whole year's worth of experiences, mistakes, expectations and growth to the tradition.

I know - after this hellacious year - I'm getting something out of this. Mainly comfort, but maybe next year (c'mon 2010) I'll get something even better. Whew, I knew I could make this post end with an optimistic slant.

ps. "You have the freak flag, Meredith, you just don't fly it." - The Family Stone

Coupons & Discounts.

I'm a bargain shopper, always have been. I adore a sales tag, a 20% discount, offers of free shipping. Give me a print-out coupon and I am one happy girl. Considering my limited financial situation as of late (NO, NOT CAUSED BY THE DAMN ECONOMY, THANKYOUVERYMUCH MIL), I have been cruising for discounts more than often.

Thought I'd share - as you may also be looking for an elusive 25% discount code for an online boutique or maybe just a way to save $20 bucks at Publix next week. Let's talk shopping first - Retail Me Not (www.RetailMeNot.com). I'm so thankful to these folks. The site compiles discounts, promo codes and coupons in one spot. Enter in a store - say Talbot's - and find coupons that range from 25% discounts to free shipping.

And the other not-so-secret secret? Groceries. Prior to Southern Savers (www.southernsavers.com), I was spending more than $100 a week on groceries. Now - oh my friends, we're talking about $100 every two weeks. Yes, that's right - I said TWO WEEKS. I have yet to buy ramen. Southern Savers succinctly and easily lays out a store's weekly sales flier and matches items with printable coupons. I'll admit, it takes more time to plan out the menus, etc -- but the savings are worth it.

Do you have any sites that help you save money? C'mon share - it'll feel good.

Morgan F'in Freeman

First, I apologize -- I totally should have used profanity. But I'm trying to be a better person and I'm starting with the small things. Second, MFF - or as I like to say: Morgan F'in Freeman, it sort of means a harebrained, pie-in-the-sky idea. Usually a stupid one.

This week started off well - beautiful weather, a decorated Christmas tree, productive work creativity. And then - then I ate a Bagel Bagel salad and it all changed. DAMN YOU ROMAINE! Within a few hours I giving my tummy a pep talk as it released the "toxins." Oh sweet Jesu, I was sick. Violently sick. I lost a whole day sick.

Then K. gets sick - not as bad - but sick all the same. And that means we were battling for access to our pre-war bungalow's one bathroom and drawing straws for gatorade runs. And all of a sudden, it's Morgan F'in Freeman all up in here.

I would have cried, but I had no tears. Go ahead, you feel sorry for me. It's okay. I feel sorry for me too. So, I'll leave you with my Tummy Pep Talk (soon to be patented - and/or laughed at).

Go on Tummy
You can do it!
Get rid of toxins,
Throw up what you need too -
Be strong Tummy!

(okay, so I'll admit it's not very good, but it helped when K. wouldn't sing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer)

Insert Sigh of Contentment

Y'all. I have had the best weekend -- fo' real. Where do I start?

Thankful. Man, am I thankful. I know I've been complaining a lot lately. I admit I will never be one of those people who suffer in silence or sacrifice gracefully. If I have a terminal disease, I'm going to have a down day or week or month. I'm human and fully embrace my fragile optimism.

This weekend - four days off in a row - I have feasted and rested, mounded and soaked up sunshine, walked and stretched and thoroughly enjoyed myself. I've decided two Thanksgivings is really the way to go, you should try it yourself.

Gabbing about the gobble -- the Cooks Illustrated recipe is amazing -- simply the best turkey I have ever had the pleasure to eat. And, oh - we had pies. PIES. And mushrooms and green beans and freshly fried onions (never shall I return to canned soup in that holiday tradition).

I've watched movies, and watched the Gamecocks kick some tiger ass. I've read books and started decorating my home for Christmas and am ready for December (mostly). And I wish this was a little more substantial - had some greater message than "Man-oh-man, I am so content right now." However, since it has been some time since I can honestly admit my contentment - I'm ready to march in a parade.

What I Am Thankful For...

So let's just flip yesterday's post on its head, shall we?

I am grateful and thankful for the many blessings in my life, like:
1) good parking places at crowded shopping areas (I'm looking at you Publix)
2) folks who comment on my palmetto tree sticker or say "Go Gamecocks!" when walking past my car
3) the fact that the state of Florida charges so much for a divorce
4) new technology to play with
5) a steady hand when applying nail polish
6) a boss who brings Starbucks (almost) every Tuesday
7) my family who understands - usually without me having to fully explain
8) cold weather that makes it actually feel like Thanksgiving
9) Auto Tune the News (yes, seriously)
10) my ticket for New Moon this afternoon
11) great foodie blogs that make my mouth water and inspire my culinary exploits
12) the Leon County Library where you can check out text books from the CIA (no, the other one)
12) rain checks for free 12-packs of Diet Coke
13) catalogs from places where I will never shop
14) imagination that doesn't stop
15) Pandora.com and friends who share new music
16) more than one keyboard
17) people who make me laugh
18) kids who - by still believing in Santa - light up their parents' eyes in the depths of the toy department at Target
19) hair color and industrial strength conditioner
20) the $1 fountain Diet Cokes at McDonalds
21) the fact that I can *still* make this list

I'm thankful for my home, my car, my family -- all those "typical" things. I'm glad I'm healthy. I'm glad I find the humor in frugality. Heck, I'm glad I find the humor in most things, even though I might need an FBI detector and a flashlight.

I am grateful that I have a relationship with my God, and that it gives me something sort of like strength and peace combined.

I will be heading to New Moon this evening - and then prepping for a small Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday (and a much larger one on Friday). I hope you have a very thankful holiday - be safe.

What I Am NOT Thankful For...

In a few days, everyone will be gathering around tables groaning under the weight of plenty. And they'll hold hands (or maybe not in Swine Flu Season), and they'll gaze lovingly at their family and friends and share the many blessings that deserve their thankfulness.

And while I'm sure I will also profess my blessings on Thursday (and Friday), I'd like to take a moment at M&MD to also share what I am NOT thankful for.

I am NOT thankful for the following:
1) sacrificing pedicures
2) having a spouse who thinks working less than 20 hours a week is enough
3) the extra tire around my middle that seems to think it's in a monster truck rally
4) my pitiful collection of business casual clothing
5) weird hormones that think the drop in temperatures is justification for frequent hot flashes
6) not having the ability to spend Thanksgiving with my family
7) the state of Florida charges far too much to dissolve a marriage
8) no one has figured out a way to ingest the greatness of Diet Coke intravenously
9) lack of direction in Afghanistan (c'mon - let's figure out what we're doing)
10) Charlie Crist (and see, Mark Sanford would be on a list of those I am thankful for)

Before you get your panties in a wad (dear me, did I just write that?), I am thankful for many, many things. In the depths of winter and all that. But today? Today I am definetly NOT thankful for a few things. It can't be good without the bad, right?

Ahhh, thank goodness I've kept my sense of humor.

Tell me a story.

This is one of the coolest things I've seen of late: StoryCorps. Friday (Black Friday to all you shopping people), November 27th is the National Day of Listening. To celebrate, StoryCorps is asking you to record family and/or community history.

Whoa, you're thinking. Have you seen what's going on at Best Buy at 5:00 AM? Duuuude, Target is even having Black Friday sales.

Yes, yes -- but trust me, this is way cooler. During the Great Depression, writers were dispatched across the nation to record stories. It's why slave narratives were recorded, why Gullah was recorded (and some say saved) and was the start of authors like John Steinbeck and Zora Neale Hurston. The Federal Writers' Project seems like something you'd dream about -- and die to be a part of.

As a blogger, I know I'm in some small way contributing. But, my grandparents don't blog. And my aunts don't blog. And I'm pretty sure the old lady across the street doesn't blog (although I could be surprised). So this Friday, I'm calling up my grandparents - and maybe even K.'s - to ask them to tell me a story. And I'm going to record it. Check out the DIY kit here to get ideas on how to record the conversation.

You can do it. Be part of history.

Thanksgiving Part One

Do you stress about big family meals? I certainly do, and not only because there's too many faces around my table. I stress over cooking. Okay, I stress over just about everything -- but cooking? K. thinks I'm like one of the mothers from The Joy Luck Club -- you know the one, my food is never good enough.

I'm sort of a closet, wannabe foodie. And, while I can remember playing in the kitchen as a kid, once I got old enough to make a big mess, I was banned from joining the madness. I didn't know how to cook a chicken breast before getting married. I'm ashamed, yes. I've vowed to make up for it.

Our Thanksgiving is relatively tame this year. No groaning table, no duo de gravy, no multiple wine glasses. We're celebrating with our small family of two on Thursday, and then our friends on Friday. You read that right -- TWO THANKSGIVINGS!

Originally I'd planned on contributing to Friday's festivities, but not making Thursday a big deal. Well, K. almost had a heart attack when he realized he wouldn't be watching Thanksgiving football with a turkey leg and I bent under the pressure. TWO THANKSGIVINGS!

Here's my menu - I'll try to update you mid-week:
Thursday Thanksgiving:
- Turkey & Gravy
- Sausage Stuffing
- Roasted Garlic Mashed Potatoes
- Cranberry Sauce

Friday (real) Thanksgiving:
- Brie Stuffed Mushrooms
- Smoked Bacon & Corn Gougeres
- Grown Up Green Bean Casserole
- Dinner Rolls

Notice the lack of dessert? K. wants a cherry pie, but cherries are nearly $7 per pound right now and I just can't do it. Maybe I'll pick up a store-made one, or I'll convince him that chocolate ice cream can be just as perfect. A friend brought up the idea of a coconut cake, which thanks to Paula Deen, I now consider one of my specialties. Something about it doesn't seem autumnal to me, but I'm willing to consider it. Any suggestions?

Two Years & Counting

Today marks a strange anniversary. It's been two years since I have seen or spoken to my parents.

Take a moment. [ moment ] Whew, glad that's over. Still, seems a bit strange - two years is a rather long time. Now, don't worry -- they still call and send postcards and strange packages and rain crazy all over the house. But I haven't opened those doors, nor do I intend to anytime soon. Or, y'know - ever.

Is it strange? Yes. Do I miss them? Not really... I miss the memory of them, but not them really. It's complex. As is the case with most families. I wish I could have a relationship with them -- but the best advice I got regarding estranged family is this: if it's meant to be fixed, it will get fixed. Don't force it. Some families are just broken.

Mine is. And the forecast for Year Three? Crazy-free skies, yo' -- just the way I like them. I always thought if your life is crazy, it should at least be the kind of crazy you make yourself.

On another note - nothing like complicating already complicated posts - do you think Dancing with the Stars is our generation's version of the Lawrence Welk Show? So not, like, really - but the variety show aspect of it is sort of interesting.

Also, this is my 501st post. Goodness! I started blogging in January 2006, can't believe I'm still writing.

The Shiz.

It's only Monday, right? Are you sure? Because OH MY GOD, it feels like it should be the day before the Apocalypse.

I've been dealing with some serious Shiz. That's right, I capitalized. I always knew my twenties would be packed with events: graduation, career beginnings, marriage, maybe even starting a family. I was right! My twenties have been tumultuous and oh man! they aren't over! I've got one more year.

And neither is the Shiz. I keep thinking it couldn't possibly get any worse -- and then WHAM, the Shiz hits me in the face. I know what I have to do. It just sucks.

I SO wish I was there

Ahh, Williams Brice. I can hear it, I can smell it, I can feel it. The student section is on their feet, bouncing on the aluminum stands. Across the field, season ticket holders and raising their arms -- high-fiving and smiling from ear to ear. It's buzzing in there - louder than the Swamp, I don't care what you say. Nearly 100,000 people in the stadium and close around it -- most cheering for the boys playing in garnet & black.

GAMECOCKS! GO GAMECOCKS!

We're playing Florida today, which is big. What's bigger is we've dedicated the game to the Wounded Warrior Project. We have special uniforms, honorary game captains - and you can even leave a message for our troops. Click the image below.

I love the University of South Carolina and I adore her supporters. It doesn't matter if we're losing, WE ARE THERE. If we're winning, it's just the icing on the cake. There are no empty stands at Williams Brice. We come to play.

Here's a toast Carolina, forever to thee.

Costumes.

Yes, I realize it's the middle of November and my planning spreadsheets now have turkey cooking schedules and multiple links for the perfect pumpkin pie. But let's take a quick moment to chat about Halloween costumes.

Surprisingly, I wanted to go as Facebook, despite my own lack of an account. Simple, easy - and the only investment is probably something you have in your home: a marker board. Wear the marker board around your neck and throughout the night add status updates. Harass folks at the party to be your friends and write on the board. If you had a fake blue bird, you could wear it on your shoulder and go as Twitter.

I know, I'm a genius.

Actually, this girl is a genius. I realize I am a geek for even thinking this is cool, but c'mon - this is pretty sharp.

The 8-Bit Low Res Image

On Sesame Street

Have you noticed the Google header lately? I thought it was cute -- featuring Cookie Monster, Big Bird's legs, and today - Bert & Ernie. And then, NPR featured an interview with various actors and performers from over the years. And instantly - I MEAN INSTANTLY - I was back, sitting on my shag carpet in the den of my house on 206 Anglewood Drive, watching Sesame Street with my brother.

I'm sure I never realized it at the time, but later my mom told us that she sent us down to the den to watch Sesame Street in order to calm us down before my dad got home. Sneaky? Yes. Effective? Definitely.

I loved Sesame Street as a kid. Who didn't? I loved Oscar, and the Count, and oh man - the Cookie Monster. I know I learned the basics from other sources, but I can't deny that Sesame Street shaped and formed my early learning experiences. And while I'm not planning on my own family anytime soon, the idea that my kids will watch Sesame Street too is sort of neat.

Y'all have any memories from Sesame Street? Turning 40 is a big deal...

Also...

Not to overdo it on the wedding photos... but tomorrow is a big day for our family.
Good things seem to happen on the Third of November. K. swears that Grami is responsible for the FSU/BC 2007 victory. (Personally I think she may have been a little busy going through intake, but whatev. Let him have it.)

I miss my grandmother fiercely. And while I know it's been two years, it doesn't feel like it. And it's been nearly two years since I've spoken to or seen my parents, but that's really another post for another day.

This is about two of my favorite people in the entire world. I know Grami is aces. And I hope by mid-afternoon on Tuesday K. feels the same way.

The nose.

I was an awkward pre-teen (we were pre-teens then, not tweens). No really, I was. It took some time to grow up into my features -- my huge ears, lips and nose. I was super tall, and ridiculously skinny and dripping with wannabe attitude -- complete with Limited sweatshirts, sweater tunics and patterned leggings.

My family loved me through it - and that includes my no-bullshit Grami. I remember her failed attempts to pay me to grow my fingernails; I'm a still a biter. She would take me shopping, but refused to buy me black - telling me I looked like death warmed over. It took years to figure out whether death could be nuked in the microwave or required reheating in the oven.

During this period - affectionately called the Year of the Snoz, I found a picture* of my grandmother. She might have been in her early twenties - she could have been younger. And she was beautiful. Gorgeous. Lovely. And best of all - I realized I had her nose.

Not my father's slim nose or my mom's cute slightly upturned one -- I had Grami's nose. And I knew it was going to be okay. Just one of the countless times my Grami made my life okay.

I miss you, Grami. Thanks for the nose.

*Nope, don't have the picture. Wish I did. Carol was a looker.

October's Party

And with little time to spare - an October tradition...

October's Party
George Cooper

October gave a party,
The leaves by hundreds came.
The chestnut oaks, and maples
and leaves of every name.
The sunshine spread a carpet,
Miss Weather led the dancing
Professor Wind the band.

The chestnuts came in yellow
The oaks in crimson dressed
The lovely Misses Maple
In scarlet looked their best;
All balanced to their partners
And gaily fluttered by;
The sight was like a rainbow
New fallen from the sky.

Then, in a rustic hollow,
at hide and seek they played
The party closed at sundown
and everybody stayed.
Professor Wind played louder
They flew along the ground
then the party ended
in jolly "hands around".

Me & Panther

me: (arriving this morning with hot Starbucks) I love the Starbucks on Monroe! (*and I do, Starbucks on Monroe, I do!)

him: why?

me: the cute girl with the perky hair always remembers me. She says, "Hello Friend!" She always remembers the soy milk and for some reason calls me graphic designer.

him: yeah, she usually calls me sweetie or honey or... [dead pan] sex panther.

awesome. good service is really hard to find.

No Flip Flops

I love flip flops (or flop flips*, or whatever). I wear them everywhere. With everything - formal, informal and everything in between.

Until yesterday, when the charm of my flip flop choice du jour failed to inspire confidence in my superiors. DANGER! NEED NEW SHOES.

NEW SHOES THAT GO WITH EVERYTHING. The thing about flip flops - I'm a tall lady. A tall, tall lady. Even taller when I put on shoes that aren't flip flops. I used to wear heels all the time - fifty pounds or so ago. At this point, piling all of me on the equivalent of two golf pencils just isn't all that appealing.

Yes, there are wedges. I know, I know. I just /hands on hips\ like wearing my flip flops. The toes need to be free!

Now that my treatise on flip flops is almost over, there was another punch to the gut -- my beloved dress code of jeans and polos/t-shirts will soon be a thing of the past. I'm headed to the land of business casual. How's that for a Halloween horror story.

So, now I'm flipping through Talbots Outlet, JJill Sale and some Lands End choices. I want a uniform equal to my jeans combo. I never thought I'd be less excited about shopping.

Wisdom, Hops & You

"I know less about life than most of these people know about beer."
- said while waiting in line at Brewfest Tallahassee

Or was it the other way around...

When I wish for more flu

I had the flu earlier this week - not swine, just normal flu. Or so I thought. Normal flu would have been gone by now... Right?

Nope, still dragging. Yesterday I took a "nap" around 6 PM, and woke up around 1 PM. It is the first time in my life I slept in later than K.

I wish I had more flu. It was easier.

FIRST!

I don't get it.

I enjoy read Dooce. As a matter of fact, her blog is probably my hands down favorite -- I like it so much I save it in my reader and then move over to her actual blog to read it. That's how I show respect bitches.

I don't understand, however, why people get all hyped up about commenting first. I simply DON'T GET IT. Yeah! You clicked there first! Whooppee! Now, I know I don't have hundreds or thousands of comments - maybe that's why I miss the thrill.

I'm super super confused by the d-bags that end up somewhere like #18 who are all thanking their respective deity for the honor of posting first. Um, Hi D-Bag. You suck. Not to be a hater, but why don't you go write your own blog where you get to be first EVERY DAY. C'mon - be proactive!

I get excited when I get comments. Period.

What did I do?

Since the wee age of 14, I've been coloring my hair. First, champagne blonde, then platinum, then red, auburn, brunette, espresso. You name it, my hair has been that color.

I heart hair. Even more, I heart doing things to my hair. Some are successful -- some are DISASTERS. Like the time Feria and I clearly did not see eye to eye and coloring over my highlights resulted in LAVENDER streaks through my hair. Or the time I left my foils on too long (yes, I did my own foils). Or the time the Southern Baptist gay man clearly did not understand that I meant honey blonde and not Clemson orange. I have more hair stories - all by myself - than most Southern chapters of Kappa Delta.

So, this past week I made a(nother) drastic change. I chopped off my hair in a longer-styled reverse mullet. Think Sienna Miller, not Kate Gosselin. And it's not bad - the new hair cut. It's super easy to fix and takes no time to dry.

Nonetheless, I was sitting in the chair when I realized what had happened. Several pounds of hair on the floor... AND OH HOLY SHIT BALLS. I look like my mother.

Titillation II

Apparently, Tallahassee can be titillated.

I attended the Hotel Duval Grand Opening with a few friends on Thursday night. I have to admit - there were moments I didn't feel like I was in Tallahassee. I think that's probably the best compliment I could pay...

Wish I had taken pictures. Probably best that I didn't.

Apple Crack

I've been obsessed with The Pioneer Woman Cooks lately. OBSESSED. She cooks with BUTTER. And BACON. And lots of DELICIOUSNESS. I am super ashamed to say that the first time I read her recipes, I wasn't so crazy about them. I didn't own a skillet and I think - well, I'm blaming it on - kitchen gadget inferiority.

I now have a skillet. And I have joined the ranks of millions who follow this woman. Have I mentioned bacon and butter? Some recent expeditions into her recipe vaults have yielded successes like Bacon Wrapped Jalapeno Thingies, Blue Cheese Onion Goodness, Caesar Salad, and oh sweet goodness - Onion Straws. Do not get me started on the Firecracker Shrimp.

Last night I ventured into her dessert repertoire... Apple Dumplings, or as K. renamed them: Apple Crack.

First, this was an EASY recipe. I didn't even measure anything. One apple, one can of whomp crescent rolls, a stick of butter and some Mountain Dew. (Oh, some cinnamon and vanilla too).

Let's break it down:
2 Granny Smith Apples
1 Can Crescent Rolls (I used reduced fat - don't know why...)
1 Stick of Butter
2/3 c. Sugar - or more, to taste
1/2 tbs + Vanilla
1 tsp Cinnamon (I added some nutmeg and allspice)
Pinch of Salt (because I used unsalted butter)
1/2 c. or less Mountain Dew

Core and peel the apples. Slice each apple into 8 slices. Wrap each crescent roll around two slices of apple (*original recipe calls for one slice per roll, I wanted a little more apple). Place each wrapped apple in a baking dish that's small enough so the apple dumplings fit in snugly. Think cinnamon rolls snug.

In a sauce pan, melt the stick of butter. Dump in the sugar and stir just a bit - you want it lumpy. Add in cinnamon, salt and vanilla.

Now here come's the OMG part. Pour the butter mixture OVER the dumplings -- gooey, delish and decadent. Now add the Mountain Dew - I sort of poured it in between the dumplings.

In to the oven they go - 350 for 40 minutes. I suggest putting a cookie sheet under the cooking dish to avoid splattering. (Dear Lord! The splattering!). Try not to pull them out of the oven with your bare hands.



CRACK, I tell you. I made eight dumplings last night -- and they're all gone. I had two. K. is obviously a crack whore.

It's chilly in Tallahassee today -- good thing I have some more apples. And crescent rolls. And BUTTER!

Holy Facebook!

A few weeks ago, I deactivated my Facebook account.
Take a moment. I know it's SHOCKING... especially for someone like me, who is rarely without a portable device and has seriously looked into the internet addiction clinics.

I deactivated my Facebook account and FB assured me I could come back whenever I wanted too. I haven't tested their good will yet, but rest assured I will let you know.

Anyway, even though I dropped off the face of the earth, ahem, no one noticed. (Well, until today - but for the purpose of this post, let's just keep moving.) Dropping away was easier than I expected. It has also freed A LOT of time in my day. A few times I almost caved and logged back in. But I caught myself.

So why leave Facebook? I have a tendency to be petty - I know it; I'm working on it. Facebook gives such a beautiful platform for being petty. I really don't even need to work that hard at it. I turned off my shallow bullhorn until things get a little calmer around here.

I finally reached a point with too many status updates. Who knew?

Titillate

I received an invite to attend an even this Thursday. The invitation used the word "titillate" -- seriously? It's Tallahassee people. Titillation that happens here shouldn't be talked about, much less advertised.

So, for a titillating event in downtown Tallahassee, what do y'all suggest I don? I was considering a huge hat - or perhaps fur. Remember the temperatures here are still hovering around 90. And, have I mentioned that I'm in Tallahassee? Tiny Tally? Yeah.

Titillation. Um, yeah.

Wild Rumpus

I hate cartoons. True story - when I was a kid I didn't get them. As in, I was a CHILD and I didn't UNDERSTAND CARTOONS. I'll wait while you shed a tear for my misspent youth. (also, if the show/movie/whatever had animals, I was even less interested.)

To this day, I don't really get kid movies. I mean, sure - cute. But I don't watch them, or wait for them, or even turn them on while ironing. But, dude, I am excited about Where The Wild Things Are. As in, I may go watch the movie WITH CHILDREN.

Okay, so that's a stretch. I'm totally not going to a movie theater with a bunch of kids. Perhaps a midnight showing with a bunch of hipsters would be better.

Now, if we could just get a Gem re-make I would be a happy girl!

Grace in Small Things -#422

1. Hulu
2. A pedicure after too long -- People we are not counting weeks
3. Love from my Grandfather (G-dad)
4. A boss who agrees to stock Diet Coke in the fridge (HALLELUJAH!)
5. Clean floors

I need to do this more often.

July?

Seriously? July? Goodness, someone walk over here and slap me firmly across the face.

Let's go with the excuse that the wind blew out of my sails, m'kay?

Really, I want to blog about my parents - about the continued craziness that will not stop. But then the inner monologue starts:

"But then they'll send you hate mail and threaten you with their made-up lawyer."
"But it's my blog. And I'll write what I want to. Write what I want to."
"Dude, your choice. But you're typing on thin ice."
"Seriously? That's the metaphor you come up with?"

You see how it digresses quickly.

It's October, and my mother always starts getting crazy in October. She's been sending weird postcards and text messages and strange Southern voicemails. Yes, she's lived in the south for thirty-plus years, but she's from New Jersey. Greer-like diction just doesn't work for her.

I haven't been to one football game. K. left his job in July (hmm, wind - I think I found you), and we've been cutting back. As in canceled cable cutting back. I've become addicted to Hulu.

And this week, I did two weeks of grocery shopping for $114. I felt like fist bumping the cashier, but I wasn't sure if she fully supported fist bumping, knew what fist bumping was or would - ultimately - take offense to it. So, no fist bumping this week...

I promise, I'm not going to *buy* anything...

I have a lot of travel coming up in the next few weeks. As in, almost every weekend. So, I'm gearing myself up for my nomadic summer with the thought of being exposed to gorgeous things.

Now, I'm not planning on purchasing anything - really. But, sometimes, it's just lovely to walk around and see things in person that you covet online or in a catalog. I promise, I will never take retail for granted again.

So: here's a brief list of non-cultural places I'd like to visit:
- Paper Source
- Kate Spade
- Crate & Barrel
- Ikea
- Penzey's
- this is so not a complete list.

I did not turn.

A room full of Republicans can't sway me. No sirree.

I survived it - and actually had a good time. Once we got past the bad jokes and my initial awkwardness, I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

And don't worry - I didn't drink the kool-aid.

Oink, Oink.

I'm sure the term "repiggies" is not unique to Florida, but I just love it. It's so descriptive. I do struggle with loving the man and not the Republican. Politics is much more than a registration card to me - it's just part of who I am.

Where is this going, you ask? You've heard this all before? Yes, yes, I know. I'm a D, he's an R, we're just like Carville/Matlin (save for the public careers and book deals). K. has invited me to a fundraiser for a Republican candidate. This is the first R event he has ever invited to me.

As I freaked out, I received some really good advice: I'm Southern, I'm a woman, I can blend. Other good advice: wear a cute sundress, cute sandals and big jewelry. I can do that. I've got a couple of options on the sundress... And yes, I'm sure I do have something in my closet that would suffice, but where's the fun in that? Not to mention, I'm thinking I can repurpose for the wedding in RI in a few weeks. So, what do you think:

J. Jill

Talbots

Nordstrom

Online window shopping at its best. I'm ordering by noon on Thursday, leaning towards the yellow and brown Talbots dress. Wish me luck Saturday night. If I start blogging on Sunday about "Government Motors" or how I think Jim DeMint might have the right idea about Rubio, shoot me. With a real gun.

Oh, and Katie Cali asked me to finish up my impressions of Inauguration - which was like, so six months ago.

I watched at my desk, cried when it happened (cringed when the whole swearing in thing didn't go as planned). I think the biggest difference has been in the past six months.

I'm not scared to turn on my news. Which, in some way is a bad thing - I mean, I feel much more confident in current leadership. I'm almost not as wary. Perhaps I should be. I hate when I hear people talk about Obama like he's not our president. As if he's just some guy - and not the leader of the Free World.

I like that he's making friends - and I like that they're not all Western European. I think there's been a learning curve - duh. The bow to the Saudis: stupid. The gift to the Queen: pathetic. But overall - comparing those slip ups to the massive inadequacies of current Republican leadership doesn't work for me.

It's still early. I'm still excited. And I haven't removed my Obama bumper sticker.

Summah.

Y'all, it's summer. Like 90-something-degrees-before-noon-summer. And it's just plain old wonderful.

Perhaps because I fell in love my husband during one hot rushed summer, it's sort of a favorite around here. It could be the heat. I remember a class I had in college that tried to dispel the myth of the lazy southerner. Apparently, because it's so hot folks just slowed down. It wasn't lazy, it was survival.

We've got big plans this summer - a week at Disney for a conference, travel to NYC in July (and OMG, we're going to Central Park to hear the Philharmonic and I cannot stand how romantic that sounds), and at some point some beach time. I've been on accutane (oh the joys of a second round) since November of last year and I am ready for some aging and damaging UV rays.

And, the biggie - we got a recliner couch. Not exactly my style but man-oh-man, K. is so excited. It finally came in Saturday and we haven't moved that far from it. It's lovely. I feel bad I ever disparaged it.

Blah, blah, blah.

Color me crazy, but I just haven't gotten around to blogging. Not that I don't think about it. I do. I mean, really. But then I get busy doing other things and I forget them. I sit down to write and all I really want to talk about is my parents - and Lord knows where that will get us.

(More calls from them telling me they'll sue for defamation - or libel - I can't really remember. I've never heard from their attorney though, so maybe I should just forget the threat(s)?)

Sometimes, even when you know something it's hard to believe it.

Kiss Your Brain!

(To do this, you kiss your finger tips in a jaunty manner, and then tap your forehead!)

Nerves.

This was the first weekend in I don't know how long that I was in Greenville - and nothing bad happened. I was having major panic attacks this past week - dreams of my crazy parents, dreams of my late grandmother, dreams of my hometown... And you know what, despite a canceled flight and a whole day delay, once I pulled onto 85 from GSP - I was home.

The whole weekend was fantastic. When I was a kid and my whole family would get together, I would practically shake with excitement. Hearing their voices - the voices of the women that weave together my family, smelling their cigarette smoke. I felt the same way, sitting on that bench at Table Rock. I sat and chatted with my aunt past dusk - hearing the song of the mountains. And you know, for the first time that I can remember there were no deep or dramatic conversations. I didn't need reassuring or assuaging.

We were happy. I love my family - the now family - the family we've cobbled and duck taped together. I met my cousin -- the most beautiful, beautiful baby I have ever seen up close. I know this is cheesy - and it is - my heart is so full.

*Me, nervous about going home? No ma'am.

State Workers

Dude. Florida's in budget hell right now - deals are flying across hallways faster than I can down a diet coke. One of the ideas to balance the budget (and plug that half billion dollar hole) is to punish state workers. Punish - yes, that's my terminology. Some might think a 5% pay cut is not punishment, but I'm guessing those people have had a raise in the past three years.

I do believe some of state government is redundant - and reflective of office procedures that better belong in history. However, the great majority of workers are doing jobs you don't want to do. We're talking everything from prison dentists to budget analysts to the folks who make sure your unemployment check makes it to your mailbox.

What are we thinking? A 5% cut is an income tax directed only at state workers. My other big fear is that a 5% cut will hurt the small businesses in this quaint town. Could the real chamber of commerce please stand up?

*If only the House would get behind some gaming and cigarette "user fees" we'd be all set.

Diet? Or the economy?

I've been shopping for some new clothes recently... I can only wear Seminole T-shirts so many days in a row.

I've discovered - happily - that I'm a size smaller. I'm talking a jeans size smaller. This is big news for me as I've been unsuccessfully battling my hormones for control of my body for more than a year. All of a sudden buying clothes seemed a lot more fun. I could place a cardigan in my shopping cart at Target without covering it up with something else (the XXL-size shame equivalent to buying condoms at Publix).

As I went on the Tallahassee Shopping Spree (Target, Old Navy & Macy's OH MY!), I had a thought... What if I haven't really gone down a size? What if it's all a scheme to make me buy more clothes in this tough economy? After all, once I'm empowered with the notion that I'm shrinking, I must outfit my new body. I'm on to you, mega-shopping centers. And I like it.

*Looking forward to the next economic downturn and a size 12.

Waiting for takeout.

I was waiting for dinner tonight (I think I've cooked four times in the last four months), and a woman sat down next to me. I barely looked up - I was playing on my phone and internally huffing over the wait.

She leaned over and asked to see my ring. I was completely taken aback. What? I mean, seriously? As I lifted my left hand she grabbed it. Apparently she had just gotten engaged (after 2 1/2 years she complained). I offered my congratulations. However, the weirdness didn't stop there.

She went on to suggest that marriage wasn't any fun and she wasn't actually looking forward to getting married... I mean, obviously a good attitude to have a few days into an engagement. Obviously.

Thankfully, my take out arrived at that exact moment and I was able to escape. As I was driving home, I realized it's less than a month and I will have been married for two years. TWO YEARS people. When did that happen?

*I'm still having fun.

The Taurus

I love reading other blogs. And these days, it seems that's all I'm doing. I stumbled across Uppercase Woman a few months ago and really enjoy her pithy commentary. Yesterday, she wrote about her favorite car here.

I have had quite a few cars... And while my first thought is to offer up the Red Saturn Vue that was an engagement present, my favorite car of all time has to be my first one - the Taurus. It was a beige (I think my Dad called it sand) 1995 Ford Taurus and man, we were close friends.

My Dad drove it for a year or so before he turned it over to me. At the time, I was devastated. When you go to high school with the sons and daughters of the managers over at the BMW plant, it's easy to expand your expectations. Despite the fact that I was downright giddy at getting a car, I sort of wanted to pick something out myself. (You know, like my brother did a year later. I'm not bitter.)

However, on the day it was turned over for good - I sensed it. FREEDOM. I put a purple peace frog on the back window, purchased in Georgetown, of course. Also, let us not forget, the pink bumper sticker with some sort of vegetarian message. I love animals? Don't eat them? Something like that. I was so set for my 1.25 mile drive to high school. Ahhh, suburban middle class hippiedom.

That was when gas was .89 cents a gallon. We used to fill up just to drive around. I tutored one of my friend's brothers for gas money. So two of my friends - oddly, both named Erin - would get in the front seat of the Taurus and we'd cruise around Greenville... All in the front seat. It was hysterical. EVERYTHING would fit in that car. And I hauled it around.

My father sold it during my freshman year in college and I was so sad. Two more beige-ish Tauri followed. After that, I'll never buy a beige car again.

Humor.

We're watching that cute GE commercial where the cute Asian woman catches the eye of the cute Asian man in a remote village. You know the one, he trips and she ends up being the doctor that takes the X-ray.

- K. turns to me and mentions that China doesn't have a capital gains tax.
- Oh, really, I say.
- Yes. I'm learning mandarin. We're moving.

Oh my goodness, am I kept entertained.

Sunday calls for chicken.

Or, what is a statement I overheard while leaving Publix this evening, for $200.

I thought it was funny... especially since it came from a fifty-something gentleman on an obvious date. As I left Publix with my silver polish, jet dry and chocolate cake (yes, it's Sunday and I will eat some cake dammit), I was glad that I wasn't on a date at fifty-something. Not that I think it would be the end of the world or anything - but I can't really fathom it.

It's amazing how some things seem out of the realm of possibility. Sort of like moving to Florida? Perhaps, my friends, perhaps.

Guilt.

I walked to my mailbox today, having not retrieved my mail since Thursday. At once I felt bad for the environment and my mailperson. We're talking at least 10 pounds of catalogs people: Pottery Barn, Crate & Barrel, Land of Nod, Pottery Barn Kids, Title 9... Um. WTF?

Global Warming? My mailbox is to blame.

Many things...

Sorry I've been sort of MIA. I've been traveling - and I'm tired. This weekend, I hope to do nothing but be at home. After six weekends of straight travel, I need a break. K. and I plan to do little but catch up on the DVR, play with the Wii and nap. Maybe a movie if we're feeling feisty.

• What's with all the red velvet cupcakes? I mean I love red velvet cake as much as the next girl - after all, rv cake is my go to cake choice for pity parties (don't ask), but I've had four separate conversations with very different people about red velvet cupcakes. Is there something I'm missing?
  
• I have nails. Now before you roll your eyes at the obviousness of that statement, let me explain that I bite my nails. A lot. A lot a lot. And I have nails. And they're strong and lovely and feminine. I am amazed at myself. Am I finally calm? Is this what happiness is - the ability to get a manicure without the woman clucking at my bad habits? Fantastic, I tell you.
  
• Stalking every Wal-Mart, Target and Best Buy between here and Charleston was totally worth it. We are the proud owners of Wii Rock Band. And I am kickin' K.'s ass.
  
• Jeopardy! is having online qualifying quizzes on Tuesday, Jan 27th. Fingers crossed and prayers said, K. will actually go through with it. I think I need to tempt him with this payoff.
  
• Love, love, love Mrs. O and everything she wore. I am so excited to have a First Lady that I can not only respect (I did respect Mrs. Bush), but aspire to.
  
• I have many thoughts about the inauguration. I'm working on figuring out how to express them.
  

That's it for now. Y'all have a good weekend. Ahhh, I will!

She must get me.

I don't know this blogger - I only subscribe to her lovely blog, Bakerella. You probably should as well.

Even though we've never met, I can't help but think she'd get me.

Who pays?

Man, that is one set of cohones. The gov isn't sure if he's going to the inauguration, but more importantly, he's not sure who will pay. (link here)

Really?

That's what you're worried about? Have you been invited Mr. RINO? Because I'm pretty sure, that while Florida was a key victory for the Obama campaign, you had nothing to do with it. How about stop taking free trips on Florida's dime (lest we forget the Europe debacle), and instead do something to help the failing schools and crumbling roads in Florida. Perhaps - dare I ask - make sure there's money to match SCHIP when Florida's authorization expires in March? Hmmmm.....

Never, just never.

I will never watch Momma's Boys. It is ridiculous.
Done.

gism, weekend wrap up

Ladies & Gents - this has been a jam-packed few weeks. Christmas, NYE, my birthday... and next weekend we get ready to celebrate a new administration and a newly challenged leader. It's too good to be true!

I feel like I spent this past weekend driving - we headed south for a wedding. I think weddings are romantic. After meeting my husband at a wedding, it seems as though the cheesy-factor goes through the roof. I love seeing two people who are well matched entering into this covenant. This wedding was gorgeous -- the bride was all glow-y and the groom had the best poker face I have ever seen. I got to hang out with old (and new friends) and thoroughly enjoyed watching The Tambourine. JFC, I will come down for a Saturday. Or hook up the Wii for a double date (and I feel a little silly writing that out. Holla.).

Also, this whole grace in small things thing... I feel silly making a list every day. Mainly because, weaving through this whole blog thing, are little elements of where I find grace. In my husband who brings me a diet coke for a Friday surprise. In the relief of being appropriately dressed for a wedding (can you believe someone wore WHITE?). In a new dog toy that is stuffing free. In the card my parents-in-law gave me, the one that makes me feel like a real part of the family. In the sweetness of three birthday cakes. In the strength of surviving another year - growing in my faith, growing as a person and getting past that which holds me back.

I see grace in so many ways - okay, so a list is a definite way of making a point of the whole thing. Pausing to take notice. etc. I might not do it every day, but in case you were wondering, I've never had to do something every day for it to be real.

ps. Would you ever ever wear white to a wedding? One that wasn't your own?

Signs on the side of 19

(and man, I wish I'd taken a picture).

TRUCK
PARK'N

KNIVES

And when we came up to the spot with truck parking - well, it was a treat. Not only could you purchase knives there, but also laying hens. Obviously the two things go hand in hand. Obv.

practice makes perfect

It's true - practice takes perfecting. Or um, practice makes perfect. I'm not what you would call laid back. I doubt one would even say that I tilt. So this whole laissez-faire thing I got going? It is shockingly lovely.

The fact that K. is getting this whole birthday thing so right? Only took three years. Imagine what next year will be like. People, I had Birthday Bunny with a South Beach Egg Souffle cup (sparkly candle and all).

I'm incredibly happy to have been alive for twenty-eight years. And I am stoked to start this next one. I've been writing at M&MD for three years now. Can't believe the change my life has taken since then.

Thank you and thank God.

Birthday Cake

I'm pretty much a psychological bully. Poor K., he doesn't know where to turn about this whole birthday thing. I want a cake; I don't want a cake. I want it to be white cake with plum flowers; I want a chocolate cake with raspberry filling. The poor guy.

Knowing that he sort of fell short of expectation in the birthday department the last two years, the bar was set high. And I'll admit, I think birthdays are really important. Like, as in my favorite day of the year.

Today, when I realized that I had royally confused K., I took matters in my own hands. And not because I was angry or upset or sad or disappointed. I did it because I know that my husband, as a heterosexual Republican male, probably cannot differentiate between lavender and plum (and yes, I threw in the Republican barb just for laughs). And you know what, that's okay. SHOCKING.

So he'll pick it up (honey - Publix on Friday) and I'll be happy. He makes life easy for me all the time, why not return the favor?

gism #4

1. Finding the exact code I need and the ability to implement it. Ahhh, geekdom.
2. Ordering my own birthday cake without feeling like a controlling bitch or a woe-is-me Debbie Downer.
3. Figuring out that the dress for this weekend's wedding is already hanging in my closet.
4. Looking at the dark chocolate leftover Christmas candy and moving on - quickly.
5. The feeling of excitement about tomorrow - fear is at a minimum.

I wonder if this whole grace thing isn't some elaborate ploy to develop a daily blogging habit. Hence why I wish I could figure out a way to keep it on the side nav. Regardless, I had a wonderful thing happen to me: around 1 pm when I swung by McD's to purchase my first diet coke of the day (large, light ice) I realized how grateful I was in all the elements that made it possible - a short line, money, a car (you can't walk through the drive thru), the gift of literacy and sight and a body that can handle the intake of one diet coke a day. Yes, I'm down to ONE.

I'm glad I had that moment - and not just at night when I try to write this list. Yeah! Already the habit is rubbing off...
1. Beating K. at Wii Bowling. Still have a lot to learn about boxing.
2. Living in a place where flip flops are not just tolerated, but encouraged.
3. Refund checks that appear out of the blue.
4. New OPI for Sephora (metro chic) nail polish, sort of cross between gray flannel and lavender.
5. Pictures from NYE where I look fantastic instead of fat (and I don't feel bad about saying that, as I am only a few days away from getting closer to thirty, sort of).

gism

Hi. Hopefully the return to the real world after your holiday was easier than mine. I am exhausted and am contemplating heading to bed and letting the DVR do the heavy lifting tonight. Also, if any of you brilliant people out there could help me out... I like this whole grace in small things thing, but I wish I could keep it on the side bar, instead of having to post it every day in the main content section. Yes, me = weird. Any thoughts?

Small Things, January 5, 2009
- a sweet husband who scurries to get a cold diet coke in the morning
- a day without carbs (almost made it 24 hours!)
- my bargain Goodwill-found ottoman
- dwindling countdown till seeing my aunts at the beach
- mail: three cards that didn't make me pause and five thick glossy catalogs that did

Excited about television.

Yes, yes I am. Especially since the DVR is now in my life and I have perfected the fast forward x 4... So here's my short list:

Big Love (HBO) - it's back after a looooooong hiatus.
Burn Notice (USA) returns for its first winter season.
Lipstick Jungle (NBC) - don't laugh, it's actually not bad.
Trust Me (TNT) - a new show that looks to modernize Mad Men. Can't wait.
Secret Diary of a Call Girl (SHO) - Billie Piper is awesome.
How I Met Your Mother (CBS), Life (NBC), Chuck (NBC) and The Mentalist (CBS)

And let us not forget the trainwreck Real Housewives of the OC - I love it!

Happiness, pt 2

The night I met my husband, we had to sign a large bowl in the manner of celebrating the next day's marriage ceremony. While my husband scrawled "Live long and prosper," I wished the happy couple many happinesses. However, I misspelled (in the irony of ironies) the word happiness. (Yes, it was hapiness and yes, I was embarrassed).

Driving home yesterday evening, we were talking about how lucky we are. I have high hopes for this year and am hoping for two major life events to fall in the next twelve months. I would accept more major life events, but there are two I'm particularly looking forward to. So where am I going with all this vagueness?

I am happy. I feel like shouting it from the rooftops. Some of my family thought it was funny that I was keeping a running chart of consecutive days of happiness. But I am, and I have been happy for more than two months. I am relaxing more often and - dare I say it - with ease. This is huge for me people, HUGE.

So, when Whoorl started this whole daily Grace in Small Things I thought it sounded interesting, if a little tedious. I read Schmutzie's post about the idea in general and similar feelings of Oprah-like cheesiness. But last night a post slid by on my Google Reader and I thought - you know what, I would really like to try that. My 2009 goals are to stop drinking caffeine and get a new puppy. Perhaps a little something more substantial is in line?




So, here goes - Grace in small things...
1. Cold Diet Coke in the morning.
2. Long car drives when I get to spend time with my husband.
3. Proper packing crates for Christmas ornaments.
4. Ordering Wii Rock Band as a birthday present to myself.
5. Being home, in my home, after two weeks.

1.1.09

I love the start of a new year. It's like a brand new blank journal - unlimited possibilities. Also like a new pair of shoes, needing breaking in.

Christmas was lovely. K. got a Wii (which I was almost successful in keeping a secret). It was very low key, which I'm getting used to. I even fully accepted the south Florida weather and embraced shorts on Christmas Day.

It was a really interesting year. I made it past my first year of marriage. I often said that I was really glad we were married because if we weren't, we'd probably break up. Seeing as how our relationship moved so quickly, I consider our first year of marriage to be the equivalent of the seventh year of marriage. Think dog years.

But we made it, and as we turned the page on May, things just got better. Could be because I took a calmer job and had more time to spend on him and myself. Could be because my husband stopped drinking. Could be because we just needed some time to get used to the whole marriage thing. Whatever, it's totally working for us now.

What else happened? Oh yes - my first trips to NYC and Disney World. Football, football and football. Lots of hair color. It was a great year. I don't think I'd change a thing. Really. And as far as 2009? I am psyched.

I have a good feeling about this year - a feeling that has everything to do with how I rallied this morning and nothing to do with how Carolina played against Iowa. I'm hopeful and excited and thinking about all the REALLY BIG THINGS WE HAVE PLANNED. And by we and I do really mean me.