The Sorority That Shall Not Be Named

Full disclosure: I was a proud member of Delta Delta Delta
at the University of South Carolina.

Explaining this allegiance to my GDI fiance last night over fajitas and dollar drafts at the club was a little difficult (partially because I had to do it during commericals. FSU was playing). No, I did not feel I was buying friends. No, I did not feel the urge to randomly hook up with Sigma Chi brothers (I can adamently assure that never happened). Furthermore, I was never hazed or hassled.

So, last night, over those same fajitas and dollar drafts, we watched the newest members of Insert Sorority Here arrive wearing an assortment of fanciful hats and costumes. The girls were super cute - mostly blonde, all thin and all looking excited. It was a Big Sis/Lil Sis Reception on the Terrace. Lovely! It was a gorgeous night and looking over the FSU field must have been just terribly exciting for all the little pledges.

I remembered back when I found out who my Big Sis was - a rather odd gal from the Low Country. She was intelligent and poised and had more class in her little pinky than I would say the entire pledge class of the sorority mentioned above.

This is where I must discuss, dear reader, the problem with Florida... It's rules - etiquette - class. Why would ANYONE in their right mind believe it is okay to wear seersucker after Labor Day?!? I understand that even in South Carolina the rules can be pushed by the overeager SAE when the Cup falls before Easter -- but even I have been known to let that one slide. The offense that started this diatribe? WHITE SHOES. WHITE TACKY SHOES.

Obviously a freshman pledge - she had so much hope in her eyes: binge drinking, the unfortunate shacking incident with a start up fraternity, and - let us not forget the joy of Formal Night. She had on a cute black dress and even looked cute in it - even if it was hooker short. Why the platform, white patent, scuffed (did I mention they were SCUFFED?), tacky shoes? You can do better! I know shopping is challenging in Tallahassee -- but for the love of GOD!

I wanted to find the Offensive White Shoe Girl's Big Sister and shake her.